How to distinguish healthy relationships from unhealthy ones that have no future? Obsessive, toxic, neurotic - call them what you will. The point is that an unhealthy relationship doesn't bring true happiness, it's just a surrogate.
Such relationships are associated with a state of anxiety, a vague or obvious feeling that your interests are not taken into account and sooner or later lead to neuroses and psychosomatic disorders.
However, sometimes toxic relationships don't look like that from the outside and often neither the people on the sidelines nor even the victim themselves can tell that something is wrong.
Nevertheless, psychologists identify the following worrying symptoms that clearly indicate that your relationship is dangerous and unhealthy.
There is no joy in a toxic relationship
In an unhealthy relationship, joy may be present initially, but it never lasts long. These relationships not only do not inspire you, but, on the contrary, ground you and even bury you. You have the feeling that your wings are cut off, you are deprived of freedom. If the relationship lasts a long time, then sooner or later emptiness, fatigue and depression are felt. Getting out of them becomes more and more difficult over time as the victim loses their will and sense of reality.
All attempts to clarify the relationship hit a wall
For example, tormented by the fact that something is going wrong, you want to talk. This is reasonable and constructive. However, all your words and arguments remain misunderstood. The desire to find out who is right and who is guilty leads to nothing. On the contrary, in the process of conversation, everything is turned upside down, you move away from the essence of the problem and already have a feeling that you are not right. Is this familiar to you? If yes, then be aware - such discussions are an example of violation of personality boundaries and manipulative behavior of the partner. Instead of a real discussion, you get a headache and you're not at all happy that you started this conversation.
In a toxic relationship, the success of the partner is nothing
Here the successes of the other are perceived with aggression, envy and disqualification. In a normal relationship, partners enjoy each other's successes, but if the relationship is toxic, then one of the signs is an unwillingness to accept the partner's successes. Psychologists attribute this to the desire for control - the loved one's potential to boost the self-esteem of the other partner is questioned. This is a dead end that leads to lower self-esteem of the partner and neurotic methods of manipulation on the part of the aggressor.
Frequent mood swings in toxic relationships
Changes in mood - from happiness, to dramatic hysteria, from ostentatious suffocating love and concern to anger, rage or apparent indifference - are the clearest example of the fact that there is no harmony here. You are never sure what to expect from your partner.
Refusal of communication and ignoring in toxic relationships
Each of us has the full right to any feedback in any relationship. If your partner refuses to talk to you, it means that they are using one of the worst manipulations, which are especially loved by sociopaths and abusers, that is, people with whom you cannot have a healthy relationship with. The inability to explain the reason, pauses in conversations, ignoring calls, playing the game of silence are all examples of a boycott that disorients the victim and drives them crazy. Run before it's too late because neglect is a very cruel form of manipulation.
The toxicity in relationships with a desire for control
You don't even know how it turned out that they are aware of all your plans, calls, meetings. Totally controlling all of a partner's affairs is usually the first step on the way to asserting one's dominance. When you are required to report your actions, thoughts, and even your social contacts, you cannot protect your boundaries and this becomes a serious problem that affects your entire life.
Verbal Abuse and Jealousy in Toxic Relationships
Mistrust is always a sign that you have a relationship problem. Anger that your partner can enjoy life alone, without you and even worse, with someone else, is a sign that you yourself are already exhibiting a harmful addiction.
- Run away from these types of toxic people;
- 10 Signs of a Toxic Relationship