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Intelligent and Creative Insults That History will Remember


From politicians and leaders to actors and writers, these individuals have been the source of some of the most memorable insults in history. Some of these put-downs are aimed at other individuals, entire groups of people (usually men), while others - even at countries.

The nature of their work, which put them under the gaze of millions of people daily, has made these public figures thick-skinned, cynical, with a specific sense of humor and a vast experience on how to insult someone else - subtly, elegantly and intelligently.

Here are some of the most ingenious wisecracks that history will remember.

"If they can make penicillin out of mouldy bread, they can sure make something out of you." - Muhammad Ali

"His mother should have thrown him out and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

"If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman." - Margaret Thatcher

"If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off." - Kurt Vonnegut


(When asked what he thought of Western civilization): "I think it would be a good idea." - Mahatma Gandhi

"In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress." - John Adams

"Thinking is the most unhealthy thing in the world, and people die of it just as they die of any other disease. Fortunately, in England at any rate, thought is not catching." - Oscar Wilde

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning." - Catherine Aird

"He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot." - Groucho Marx

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception." - Groucho Marx

"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult." - Charlotte Whitton

"In the Bob Hope Golf Classic, the participation of President Gerald Ford was more than enough to remind you that the nuclear button was at one stage at the disposal of a man who might have either pressed it by mistake or else pressed it deliberately in order to obtain room service." - Clive James

"You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else." - Winston Churchill

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder